#0026 Why friendships might be better than relationships

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Hey loved ones,

I must admit that sometimes when I come to write to you it’s like coming to have a gossip. Half the time I’m like “I wonder if they saw this?” or “Did they hear this?” or “What are their thoughts on this?” I always love when you feedback so thank you and always feel free to send me an email.

In the meantime, here are some of the things that have played in my mind this week.

Friendships better than relationships?

As I head back on the treadmill that is dating sigh I am reminded of my reluctance when I started. If you read last week’s edition, my blog post give a hint as to why my first foray went up in flames. The key thing was time and the lack of it. I need someone to be present in the few moments of freedom I have when not beinb a mum, business owner, family member, part carer and all the other things I like to put on my plate. I needed a safe space that couldn’t just be fulfilled by calls and texts.

Anyway as I whinged internally about the repetitive strain injury likely to be sustained from swiping and clicking, I received a belated birthday present in the post. A pair of socks that say “Go away I’m introverting”. My friend called it “a token”. I called it perfect.

It made me tally up all the loving things that come from my friends including another friend who came to my house yesterday and cooked for my entire family or my sister-wife who sent me a treat when cancelled things with Mr MOT. Whilst it's not about stuff, it's a reminder of how much our friends can impact. From a loved one who sent me a tea set or another who sent me flowers, I am blessed to be seen and loved.

Honestly, remembering all of that made me question why do I really want a relationship? Whilst friendships are not quite the same - we know this - but they also feel pretty damn good. It’s not just my female friends taking care of me. One of my best male friends is always on the end of the phone when I need a heart-to-heart. And another is always sending me things to encourage my dreams. Once, he created a video of the richest billionaires in the world and put me on the end. Loved ones, this was not a montage of photos. This was a full video with voiceovers and editing and everything. It was and is incredible.

At the same time I was having this revelation, I came across an article in Cosmopolitan whilst doing my weekly research. Sidestepping the young woman at the centre of the story and the trend of always renaming things (My first date taught me the phrase ENM - Ethically non-monogamous dating which to you and me is a rebrand of an open relationship). The premise? Decentralizing men in life. Turning our backs on the Hollywood fairytale and simply see it as another side dish to the main course that is life. I kinda like this idea? What do you think? Will it catch on? Or am I getting swept up with Gen Zs?

A disrespect to breakdancing culture?

Did you see the story about the Australian female breakdancing competitor? Her questionable performance made the rounds on social media and news outlets and inspired long thought pieces on Linkedin about how Rachel Gunn was protesting against the Olympic Games being prescriptive of what break dancing is by employing her own style.

I’m still puzzled why this dance form with distinctive physical motifs, that clearly distinguishes itself from Gunn’s interpretation, was being challenged by the competitor? Breakdancing was originally created by Black Americans and complimented the birth of Hip-Hop. It is embraced by millions across cultures and yet I can’t help but feel that Gunn simply exercised her arrogance to protest something respected by everyone else in the culture?

I love this article from one of the judges who attributed her contribution beautifully to a style unique and reflective of her homeland. We’re not going to talk about the Lithuanian woman who wore a durag (again culturally attributed to Black people) whose performance name is Nicka. Torn between laughing at the audacity and being just plain pissed.

STORIES TO CHECK OUT THIS WEEK
It’s important to note that the stories chosen are stories that I find interesting though I may not necessarily agree with all the perspectives.

• Maroon - Vanessa Walters - Afribooks

• “I’m Fearful For My Life”: 5 Women Of Colour On The Far-Right Riots - Refinery29

•  Carer given £28k to replace car burnt out in riot - BBC

• Egg donors warned not to do it for the £986 cash - BBC

• More Black and brown MPs in parliament won’t save us - The Canary

  
  

Until next time Loved One,