#0025 Go Where You're Wanted

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Hey loved ones,

I hope all is going well in your world.

Last night I got a text message from one of my friend/clients with two simple words: Sending love. It was poignant to me in so many ways. I’ve pretty much been in a bit of a bubble the last week or so: working on the business, evaluating the next steps, putting my time with Mr MOT to bed - I know, already! - exploring retraining and new ventures plus managing the good old the summer holidays. When I decided on the name of this edition - Go where you’re wanted - I was thinking about the idea that you should only stay in places where you are truly valued. Little did I know how ironic that title would be given the events across the country over the last few days.

By now we all are probably aware of the three young girls whose lives were needlessly taken at a dance class in Southport. What should have been a period of mourning and support for the families and community affected was co-opted as an opportunity to cause havoc by those loyal to Far Right rhetoric. My LinkedIn became awash with people condemning the race riots that were erupting up and down the country with some telling their online colleagues that they’d be accompanying loved ones to work who feared for their safety. Advice was also given to ‘check in’ on people of colour at work and to offer compassion which I would have thought would be a natural human reaction? It flagged for me how vastly different today would be for us compared to others.

The riots reminded me of the Mark Duggan riots in the summer 2011 where you could palpably feel the divide between ‘us’ and ‘them’. Where EDL marches took place on my local high street, if I remember correctly, which is not far from where Stephen Lawrence was murdered.

It’s hard to know what to say during such a time where it feels like the world is a dumpster fire. I’m grateful for those who provide light relief such as those on X who jokingly applaud the rioters for finding the country they’ve lost in retailers Greggs and ShoeZone. And for comedians like Munya Chawawa who are always ready with a quick quip. I suppose all I can say is seek support where you need to. Remember some employers may have access to an Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) which offers advice and counselling. Use it. We don’t utilise the additional benefits beyond our pay that some work places offer us enough. Stand firm and stay safe, loved one.

I don’t want to leave things on a heavy note so I wanted to share some of the random things I’ve heard and discovered this week:

• Did you know a Ghanaian man invented the Pornstar Martini?

• Did you know TV presenter Alison Hammond has co-written her debut romance novel with the fiction writer Lisa Bent?

• I’m currently reading Gonzo Capitalism by Chris Guillebeau. I highly rate Chris because when my spirit started telling me almost 10 years ago that I needed to start a business I genuinely thought I’d lost my mind. Why would I ever do anything other than be employed? Other people started businesses not me a single, Black woman with a kid. His book The Art of Non-Conformity changed my life. It was like reading my thoughts on the page. I’m half way through Gonzo Capitalism which focuses on how the way we make money has dramatically. Half the stories in the book - including the one of a cafe that you drink coffee in whilst rats roam around, intentionally- make me realise the self talk I indulge in is utter bulls*** and I need to hurry up and go make them monies. I’ve seen how the world is changing (children are making millions by opening boxes for Adama’s sake) and it can be easy to stay locked in that middle ground millennials often find themselves in: traditional jobs vs the Wild Wild West of the World Wide Web. However, the world is so expansive and open to us if we just shift our way of thinking. Chris is helping me see just that and I wanted to share it with you. You can find Chris’ book and others I rate at my bookshop.

Finally I’ll leave you a piece of advice that came from a friend’s grandmother as she lives her best life in her mid 80s. Apparently the success in life comes from never saying no to two things: a toilet and a hard d*** because you never know when you’ll come across another one. Now thankfully I wasn’t in the room as I would have been the difficult one to point out not all d***s are made equal but I get Granny’s point, never miss an opportunity. Make of that what you will.

STORIES TO CHECK OUT THIS WEEK

• Black Women Are Turning To Minoxidil To Tackle Hair Loss, But Does It Actually Work? - Refinery29

• Army racism apology to black ‘poster girl’ soldier - BBC

• Black Women Are Three Times More Likely to be Rejected for Jobs at UK Police Forces - Byline Times

• Code My Crown - Changing the game for Black Hair - Dove

Until next time Loved One,