#0016 Revaluation

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So I finally crossed the threshold into 40 yesterday. If you've been reading TBFN you'll know I've mentioned it once of twice since we started in this format. Now I'm almost ashamed as I kinda slacked on my celebrations and only started celebrating Friday as opposed to all month. However better late than never right? 

I spent three days with people who were *determined* to show me how much they loved me which can be overwhelming for someone who is used to doing the giving.  

From phone calls to messages to trips and birthday dinners, 40 got off to a blessed start. The day also became a pivotal point in evaluating what and who will go with me into this fresh new decade. 

There's the people who form the every day fabric of your life who see the highs and lows of everything. They're your linchpins.  

Then there are those who you may not see that often but they show up for you. The amount of people who I may not have seen or spoken to for a while that reached out either remotely or came to see me in person was beautiful. It shows you have supporters in places you don't always know. 

There's new people you meet. You know them ones that you fall for upon first meeting them and the connection is instant? It happens on occassion and it meant a lot to have a new friend message me whilst she was on holiday with her family to acknowledge my day.   

And then there are the ones you'd hope to hear from and just didn't. The ones you pour into and they reminded you that you just don't feature on their radar at all. In this instance it's the culmination of a series of behaviours that make you realise that their days in your life will be finite.  

I know it may sound extreme to hinge life on what is essentially an arbitrary day but sometimes a clear out is just what you need to let in new life and opportunities that shape your future.  

There's so much more I wanted to share with you but I realise as I write this that the thoughts are still percolating. But for now, know that I am grateful and excited to see what comes next.

Until Monday, Loved One

This week's book is a recent classic that will shortly be coming to our television screens! Candice Carty-Williams’ Queenie was arresting from the moment it was released, telling the super relatable story of lead character Queenie. Here's the synopsis:

Queenie is a twenty-five-year-old Black woman living in south London, straddling Jamaican and British culture whilst slotting neatly into neither. She works at a national newspaper where she's constantly forced to compare herself to her white, middle-class peers, and beg to write about Black Lives Matter. After a messy break up from her long-term white boyfriend, Queenie finds herself seeking comfort in all the wrong places.

As Queenie veers from one regrettable decision to another, she finds herself wondering, What are you doing? Why are you doing it? Who do you want to be? - the questions that every woman today must face in a world that keeps trying to provide the answers for them.

This. Book. I remember when I first read it it was like a mirror into my life experiences. From the streets and landmarks in South London where my family has lived for over 35 years to some of the dating scenarios she experiences, it was like Candice found parts of my life and committed it to the page.

If you've not read it yet there's a special edition coming out to commemorating the TV show which is out June 5.