#0010 Important Conversations

Juanita Rosenior
April 15, 2024

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Hey, Happy Monday!

Welcome to edition #0010 of The Black Female Narrative! 10 weeks of producing this digital publication. And whilst it might seem like a small milestone, it's a massive one for me as there have been moments of doubt even in these few, short weeks. I’m excited about our next phase as I bring back the podcast properly over the coming month and I have a large scale project that I’m excited to deliver for you but still makes me pause, I can’t lie.

I guess it’s like Candice Brathwaite said on her Instagram recently: You have to shorten the space between deciding to do something and doing it. One thing I trust is that when I’m ready to do something, I will. The only person most likely to get in my way is myself. So whilst I don’t always agree with her, Candice definitely has a point.

To all those who have just signed up, hi and welcome. You can access some of the past editions at theblackfemalenarrative.com, just click on the ‘past issues’. To those of you who’ve been with me since our preview edition, thanks for sticking with me. I’m always interested in hearing how you think things can be improved so you can drop me a line at [email protected]

Before I go, I wanted to highlight an interview by CNN journalist Stephanie Busari. The British Nigerian journalist recently returned to Chibok, ten years on from the Boko Haram kidnappings. Stephanie was responsible for the “proof of life” video that led to the negotiations and release of over 100 girls. 81 girls are still missing and Stephanie continues to keep the story alive. I salute Stephanie for her commitment to continuing to tell the story of the girls and the ones left behind.

Until Monday, Loved Ones

Juanita Rosenior, Founder and Editor in Chief, The Black Female Narrative

Self reflection is critical and it's interesting watching people's reactions when the mirror is showing the murkier side of their true selves. This was particularly true whilst watching ‘Deconstructing Karen’ on Amazon Prime. Though it's an American documentary, its content transcends geography because its topic is universal.

It follows the journey of two women, Regina Jackson and Sairo Rao. The duo have a business called RACE2DINNER, where they bring white women together at a dinner party to talk about white supremacy, racism, how white women are complicit and could be an accountable catalyst for change in the US.

This documentary was an edifying and oddly satisfying watch because there can be very sophisticated gaslighting when being on the receiving end of privilege. This was a personal indicator that I'm not crazy! It also taught me a few things too about the privilege and conditioning that white women carry and where it stems from. It's incredibly transparent about the fact that racism can come from everywhere and anywhere, including your Asian business partner.

I don’t want to give away any spoilers but I appreciated the hosts’ foresight to stop any behaviours typically associated with the term ‘Karen’ swiftly in their tracks, leaving the guests disarmed and forced to wrestle with their truth. An example of this is when they're told they're not allowed to cry at the dinner table, teaching and reminding the women that their tears can be weaponised and have ultimately killed people.

It's impressive (and incredulous to me) that Regina and Sairo actually expect women to pay for this service which is essentially to tell them about themselves! I really doubt it’s a sustainable business model but I respect them for trying.

I know there’s a school of thought that says you can’t spend too much time dwelling or quote unquote ‘assuming’ that every white person you come across is racist. What Deconstructing Karen demonstrates is that those with privilege don’t event know how the simplest of actions can have devastating effects and just how embedded Anti-Blackness is in the fabric of our everyday lives. To encourage Black people to disregard that fact is reckless and dangerous. I encourage everyone to watch the doc and question their own perspectives.

You can watch Deconstructing Karen on Amazon Prime.

This week’s book is Manny and The Baby by Varaidzo. Here's the synopsis:

London, 1936. Two sisters are ready to take the city and the world by storm.

Bath, 2012. Two young Black men are figuring out who they are, and who they want to become.

Manny Powell is forthright, intellectual, and determined to make her mark on the London literary scene. Her younger sister, Rita ‘The Baby’, just wants to dance. Chasing their dreams across smoky Soho jazz clubs, they soon find themselves part of the burgeoning Black ambition movement, and must learn how to navigate it as women. As tensions rise, and fascism and war snap at their heels, Rita finds herself drawn to the mysterious mimic and trumpeter, Ezekiel Brown, from Jamaica, and the trio are faced with choices that will alter their lives forever.

Itai has fled London to his late father’s flat in Bath. Listening to cassette tapes his father made, he realises there is a lot he doesn’t know about the man’s life ― who is Rita? Why did his father record her life story? And might she hold the answers to Itai’s questions? Meanwhile, his developing friendship with Josh, a young athlete who moonlights as a dealer to fund his training, is on unsteady ground. As the country prepares for the 2012 Olympics, Josh is under increasing pressure from his bosses to find out just what the hell Itai is really doing in their city.

Manny and the Baby is a character-driven debut novel, full of heart, about what it means to be Black and British, now and in the past.

Want to add this book to your collection? You can purchase this and other TBFN recommended books on our online store, SixByNines & Co. on Bookshop.org. Not only do you get a good read and support independent booksellers but you support us too as we get a commision from every book sold.

The Black Female Narrative welcomes Wendi Bekoe back with her latest piece, “Situations…Will Arise”. For as long as I've known Wendi she's loved love and her continued belief in love and romance is one of my favourite things about her.

Here she introduces us to Johnny…

A few days after I’d had enough of Perry, I decided to browse the dating app, pretty much with the intention of reaffirming to myself that it’s just dead. As usual, I was being shown guys who looked like they could be my old uncles, yet claiming to be in my age group. Swipe left, swipe left, swipe left. As I was about to give up to go and play Words With Friends instead, the profile of a very cute guy called Johnny popped up. Hmm… ok… he’s my age and looks it… (tick)… He’s bald (tick)…. He has tidy facial hair (tick)…. He’s in London (tick)… He’s not shorter than me (tick)… On his profile it says, “If you have pets, I’m not the one for you.” (HUGE TICK!). That sold it for me, so I decided to shoot my shot by commenting on one of his photos: “That part about pets - yes yes yes!” (Multiple thumbs up and praising emojis). A few minutes later, it was a match… Yesssssss.

Johnny responded to my comment saying that animals in the house aren’t his thing at all (I could have proposed to him then and there), then asked me how I was. I responded that I was good, and we went to have the usual introductory ‘getting to know you’ conversation in the app chat, which lasted quite a while through the day. I learned that he is a born and bred North Londoner, has two children (with two women), his family is from Jamaica and Dominica. When I told him mine is from Ghana, he told me that his son is half-Ghanaian. I also learned that he does a bit of DJing as a hobby, and his favourite music is House, which I’m not into. I told him that my favourite is Soca, which he’s not into, so I said that this is the first point where we respect each other’s differences, and he laughed (“LOL”) and agreed. The chat went smoothly and felt easy, so I was pleasantly satisfied with our introduction…